[Editorial note: The following citations come from one-star Amazon reviews of Bram Stoker’s novel Dracula. I’ve preserved the reviewers’ original punctuation and spelling. More one-star Amazon reviews].
Crapula
hack author
Painfully verbose
he lives in a castle!
hard to understand
NOTHING is happening
find an abridged version
I have read many horror novels
may be the worst book ever written
being the avid vampire fan that I am
attempt to cash in on the vampire craze
cavort lasciviously with the sons of the devil
Watch the movie and save yourself some time
I’m always willing to read new vampire fiction
epistolary format is monotonous and repetitive
Turns out the vampire in this book is an old guy
It was so stupid and the movie was even stupider
If you’re like me, just tring this book to make yourself feel brave, forget it
I think I have been…
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Séamus Sweeney 